Unusual request

Economic experts, people, idiot government people are debating everywhere about the increasing inflations rate which touched 7.14% yesterday which is as per economic experts is too much. I as a student never realized that any such thing is happening in society. I always call my father and demand whatever amount of money is required but surprisingly this month I demanded money thrice, And still seeking for more help from papa.

In morning I called up my Internet Service Provider (youtele com) because internet is not working in my area.

Me: sir, could you please tell me , what is the problem with you guys.

He: sir actually modem in your area is down, let me check the problem or we will send you one technician within 24 hours.

Now this technician thing is really funny, because YOUTELE has only one technician

In our area and unfortunately that guy look more like electrician than technician.

And also this guy is very funny, he even can’t tell you difference between LINUX and windows

Ok I know I am nerd computer engineer. But I think he must know these all things.

He: anything else sir?

Me: yes yaar, could you do me a favor please.

He: what sir?

Me: please if possible add this month bill in next month bill, because I am unable to pay this time.

He: are you sure sir, because we may disconnect services, and there is no rule from our side to take care of such requests, I am really sorry sir, I am unable to forward this request.

Me: do it yar, I am a customer of youtele since 3 years, and is it a way to deal with old customer. ( I used this line to give some impression.)

He: I know it sir, but I can’t change our policies for you, you may use online option, drop box option. What exactly is your problem, why are not you able to pay bill this time.

Me: hmm, reason is simple , I don’t have money this time.

On this , he sounds very confusing and said sorry and disconnected the phone.

Really inflation is on its peak, I never thought of getting money in 5 figures in month, but now a days I am getting it and still not able to make use of it in proper way. And that’s too when I stay at my home maximum time. May god bless poor souls who are still supporting these bunch of fools ( say UPA govt).

M.A.D
i.e.

Mr. Ashish Dixit

I am back

I know you missed my blog a lot. I have received millions of emails to keep writing my blog. I answered few and left remaining.

 

People warned me to do suicide. I got lots of mental pressure from all over the world.

Oh, gosh I am too famous…

 

Wait... Someone just pinched me..

 

Ok ok reality is people thought I am no more on this holy earth, so they had started celebrating and even newspapers and TV media have reported that there is sudden happier atmosphere in blogger world.

People are distributing sweets on the streets of their respected places.

 

But sorry folks... You need to control your emotions…

 

And start praying now because MAD is back… :D :D :D

A tale of few spikes.

Few accidents lead life to miserable condition, when everyone in society is ready to raise his/her finger against you. When you have no support in society and you feel like pernicious species. You have been throwing out of everything just because of one mistake. As per one bollywood dialogue “aadmi ko apni image banana mai puri age lag jati hai , per gavane k liye sirf ek mauke ki jarurat hoti hai”.

Ok , kill the suspense nothing has happened as such to me, the only thing which I tried was HAIRCUT, a simple haircut. Is it wrong to have haircut in democratic nation like India, I am just enjoying my rights nothing else.

I went to barber shop to have haircut. Errr. Let me tell you one thing, I am now 23 and I have never changed my hair style , I am using the same since my mumma gifted a comb to play. I think she was highly confused about my learning abilities, which she later discovered that I am not normal but an abnormal one. Ok coming back to the topic. so, I told him to trim my hair but not too short.

Moreover, as per my habit I bring out my mobile to do SMS to my friends. Gosh did I tell you because of my chatting abilities my mom once remarked me that “ARE YOU BEING PAID BY ANYONE TO SPEAK THIS MUCH”. In addition, once one of my friends became humble and requested me to remain silent for few minutes :(. So I was busy in chatting throughout the cutting session. Moreover, unfortunately the person who was cutting my hair was of same genre of mine. He was chatting with his colleagues. So we two were chatting here and there. Finally after 15 minutes he told me to have a look… oh my, was it me. :O ???

I argued. “Did I tell you to cut this much of hairs. :x” and blah blah blah blah.

He became numb for few seconds and finally concluded that a new hairstyle will do better. So he chopped some more to give new EESHTYLE… :(

Suddenly I realized that my hairs had a height equivalent to the height of grass on a soccer field after a soccer match.

Ok, I came out from the shop because it was partially my mistake too. First thing which I did after it was to buy a hair gel , so that I could give a look to this down to earth hairs.

Now another problem was which look. Should I go for spikes or just down hairs?

To make my condition more hell, I watched TAARE ZAMEEN PER and seriously amir was looking good in throughout the movie. In addition, to make hell out of me, he was in Spikes. One of my favorite options after such tragic accident.

People laughed on me like any thing, ok spikes seldom look good on round faces. But, for spheres like me, it wasn’t looking good. And few of the comments were:

1) Abbey bhes char gayi kya baalo ko… (did buffalo enjoy and ate your hairs.)

2) Yeh suar ki pooch jaise cutting kyu karva li.(why did you have this pig’s tail like haircutting)

3) Raham kha , please go and borrow wig, if not for you at least for people in your vicinity.

4) Did you pay for this, or chopped your hairs by your own scissors.

5) You r looking damn cool man, but such hairstyle looks good on other planets not on earth.

6) Etc

There were so many more comments, including a few one, which are famously known as “GALIYAN” on Indian subcontinent.

I thought people living in my vicinity are GHATIS and have no knowledge of changing trend of world. So I uploaded a few of my pictures on orkut or show a few of my pictures to my friend on yahoo chat etc. seriously , people in my vicinity are more dignified than on internet. A few of ‘em promised me to keep this picture to make fear in the mindset of their children. A few promised to show this picture to show to their girl friends to show that god becomes sometime too miserable. A few linked my profile pictures to worst picture of human breed they have ever seen on internet.

After getting such a nice review of my hairs, I had no other option but to watch the growth of my hairs like any mother who keeps her eyes on growth of her child after delivery.

Time passed like anything, but :( unfortunately my hairs’ growth started reflecting the growth of any poor African nation. And till today they are still at the same condition. :( sob sob.

Not every story has good ending. :( this is the one with same ending.

M.A.D

i.e.

Mr. Ashish Dixit

Long live democracy

There are few days on the calendar when people really become patriotic and come out to show their patriotism to the outer world. You can spot them with national flags of plastic, paper, cloth and of possible matter.

Even suddenly, I dot know from where, patriotic songs come into picture instead of himesh’s songs. Since from morning to the evening you listen numbers of patriotic songs that you generally listen on those patriotic days.

Suddenly newspaper media realize that they are writing for India and they too try to pain their newspaper in Indian flag’s color. Suddenly they realize a few of freedom fighters are still alive and they try to check their problems with their daily articles. Suddenly they realize Indian actors and actresses have some patriotic feeling and they fill their page 3 with this feeling. To give a proof of jingoism, even media receive advertisements in the form of tri-color formats. :P

Not to ignore TV media who has special panel or say a bunch of intellectuals for this day, who starts from morning and end in evening, praising Indian democracy making fun of neighboring country’s democracy. In addition, discussing what should we do to make it better and all other crap. I am listening all this crap since the advent of TV media in India.

HAPPY REPUBLICAN DAY

By the time, people have started making perception of things. They have started making meaning of independence in their own terms; after all, we are independent to do anything. Anything? Yes, it is a real question that our democracy is still facing and I really do not know when will these ends.

Problem of castes, religion, hunger, poverty, and unemployment, partition wall of rich and poor is still in picture. Like the sensex of Bombay stock market sometime problem are really on high to deal with , sometime it is very low that our respected ministers start making fun of democracy and start from past to get such problems back.

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO ALL THE POLITICAL LEADERS, WE DON’T REALLY HAVE A NATIONAL LEADER THAT WE CAN BE PROUD OF: MANOJ KUMAR

However, India is witnessing some good time now a days, youths are more concerned to country now like never before. However, a few have dream of USA or other western countries but maximum are with this nation now. As witnessed in past some cases. Not for the first time but youth is united today to contribute in the growth of country.

It seems that definition of patriotism is changing, not it is not about love for a country but also about how to make it more adorable.

With so many problems and much more solutions, this country is still enjoying its democratic waves. This is showing strength of this country.

JAI HIND

VANDEMATRAM

HAPPY REPUBLIC DAY

M.A.D
i.e.

Mr. Ashish Dixit

Advertising advertisement.

My family and I are standing at some show shoe shop.

Me: papa, please this one.

Papa: no..

Me: papa, please , it has light. ( pointing toward a shoe which has light in its bottom)

Papa: no it is not good…

Me : :( bwahahahah … main neee. Many other of my friends has this shoes. See it has light ( pointing towards light once again, as it is going to be headlight of my feet)

Finally after few more arguments I got my light wale shoes. This was the impact of advertisement of “action light shoes”, and happened to me when I was only 8-9 year old. That advertisement had very peculiar effect on my mind, I almost cried in front of so many unknown people. And argued badly with my papa. That jingle is still in my mind “ lalala light wo bhi shoe mai, kaisa hai yeh system… action ka hai light system”

Even after so many years, I wonder about that advertise and its effect on children like me.

Such is the importance of advertisement of any particular product. That’s why companies waste or invest billions of money in this particular section. When we go to buy any thing we have certain image of any thing in our brain.

Few days back, I was doing a shopping at BIG BAZAR. And I was in food section of it. A mother was looking at rice. Suddenly her child who was also in confusing state spoke: “mamma why are we buying this, I have not seen its advertisement on any tv. Please go for that brand , it is very good I have seen it on TV”.

I started laughing on this incident, so is that lady, Because of innocence of that child. Who even doesn’t known about how to cook, or anything but forcing her mother to buy rice just because of advertisement.

It is becoming a habit of younger generation ( 15-30 age group) and kids (age group below 15) to go for things which they might have seen on TV, or somewhere else as advertisement. Even companies are becoming mad to endorse their products by advertising. I wonder may be one day advertise of product will be more costly than manufacturing of product itself.

There are advertisement every where , just look outside and you will get trillions of advertise to advertise trillions of products. Advertise on rickshaw, on car , on boards, on cloths, as tattoos, in advertisement itself…

Just have a blink and you will get some new... Here n there everywhere …

May be one day my son will come to me and say “PAPA PLEASE THIS BRING MUMMY, I HAVE SEEN HER ON TV. :P “ ok I was kidding. And it was an advertisement of being kidding. Oh my god please bring me out of this advertisement world.

M.A.D
i.e.

Mr. Ashish Dixit

So Good bye 22

Finally I saw off 22^nd year of my life yesterday, with so many kicks on my ahem area. It wasn’t great year either but it was really special for me.

Ok this year gave last year of my graduation. Huh. By the way it is not the only thing great about this year. Then what? I was astonished. Was it really a year to remember?

Yes it was. So what if there were a few things to remember and lots of thing to forget but still it is a part of my life.

Ok ok cut the crap and come back to point. It is my birthday today. And I am 23 now. You people can send your birthday wishes, gifts, cash, etc etc etc on my address. ( if you don’t have it, I can give it to you on special request.)

M.A.D
i.e.

Mr. Ashish Dixit

Version 1:

“Oh my son has scored 89.6%, still he could score much more”

“My son is school topper.”

Version 2:

“I told you to read books, but you don’t have time to study... only game, game n game… huh”

“Beta, this music and painting wont give u a better life in future, only mathematics type of subjects are important”

Version 3:

Son: “papa I want to do media courses, I think I can do well in it.”

Father: “no, you will earn lots of money in medical profession, and media profession is not so good.”

Story is same everywhere, only characters are different. People around the world have changed a lot. There was never a boom of success like it is today. Success? Is it really a success?

Killing a dream of child to fulfill own desire is not success.

Running behind marks is not a success. (Where is the knowledge… no where, all you need to do is cramming cramming and cramming without keeping the basic fundamental of learning.)

Amir chooses such subject to make his debut as director.

Amir Khan did a brilliant job in his debut as director. Making film on problem like Dyslexia is not an easy thing because the things may turn to a documentary of subject. Specially showing problem of younger one is difficult to sell in India.

It is becoming neck to neck competition in every field in India, which is opening new challenges and killing many too.

In this era of SMS voting competitions talent is becoming things of past… and actually the main reason is many of us don’t want to be in danger zone by doing any thing which we love to do.

Coming back to the movie, till this time many of you must have seen this movie, if not then you are plain unfortunate and you need to consult jyotishis for your luck.

I went in the theater, hoping to see any documentary type of thing, because subject of movie was giving such impression to many movie lovers. But surprisingly it wasn’t documentary.

Amir came in second half of the movie, and it was his direction only which didn’t give any boring impression in 1^st half and child artist did his role perfectly. It is very difficult to make movie run on child artist for first complete half. But he did it. Mr. Perfectionist.

Few scenes forced me to cry , and watching growth of that child was so pleasant.. which needs an up gradation in dictionary, because I am not getting proper words to describe that feeling.

I hope you people too have loved this movie, if you are still waiting to watch this movie… please go as soon as possible.

Ahem, I have also tried aamir’s hairstyle after movie… :( though it is not looking good. But you know every hairstyle is unique and I will keep continuing it.

M.A.D

i.e.

Mr. Ashish Dixit

Adult Kid

It’s becoming a habit of people to make me wait. Wait for any damn thing possible… wait for a call, wait for a dinner, wait to ring me when required, wait, wait, wait, wait... I think I am becoming waiting machine (weighting machine too :( )

So today Mr. AKS made me waited for a lunch, when I was coming from a class. And guys trust me if AKS is asking for 2 min time then be sure you are going to wait for 20 or more minutes.

So I reached before him at the destined location. And after so many phone calls and abusing data transfer finally I realized that there is no need to wait him like a waiting person, its better to do some time pass.

The location of our meet was “a restra near shiva ji nagar railway station”.

So I looked for nearby time passes. Generally in such cases best time passes are any book shop or CD stall on roads. And luckily there was one CD stall.

So I decided to watch CDs. (though I am a big thief, cyber thief who steals every damn thing possible from internet… including software to movies to songs.. everything .. you name it I download it)

To my disappointment that stall had only movies and mp3 cds. So I just had a gaze there and went away. But I still had to do timepass.

I decided to purchase cartoon CDs (tom n jerry or any such cartoon Cds) . I looked carefully cover of each n every CD possible.

But to my biggest unfortunate there was nothing, I was about to leave that place.

Suddenly the owner of Stall asked me “ bhaiya what do you want”

Me: “yaar , I think you don’t have that stuff” and gave very bad sad expression.

He: “no sir, I have all CDs possible just tell me what do you want”

Me: “yaar I am unable to find that out, I think you don’t keep it”

He gave very wicked smile and blinked and opened one of his bags.

He took out 2-3 CDs.

To my surprise those CDS were of porn movies, :P .

He: “see bhaiya, I have every collection possible… you were looking for it.. am I right sir. I have lots of other too”.

I thud my head by my hand. And uttered 2-3 words for my friend who made me wait there because of him I was in such condition.

I gave wicked smile to him too…

Me: “did I ask for it… are I am asking for TOM n JERRY CDs”

Till time I was completely out of my sense and laughing very badly…

He was in real surprise because by my age I am 22 but by my habits I am still 12… god people are still unable to understand me. :P

M.A.D
i.e.

Mr. Ashish Dixit

New Year new resolutions...

Being a lazy person I really hate to do anything, which includes taking blanket in colder night. And also it is very difficult to make some rules and regulations for those days which I have only seen on calendar. But to prove myself a proud engineer (we plan every damn thing possible, even many of my friends have planned their kids name :O )I planned some resolutions for this year... Though I am 10000% sure that I won’t follow anyone, but there is a great joy to break resolutions.

Some of resolutions are:-

1. Weight : ahem, yes I am talking about weight sincerely.. ok ok I will loose it.. Though it was my last year resolution too… (did I say that it is my resolution since 8^th class). Honestly it is too much now… no I am not talking about weight; I am talking about endless list of names which I am getting because of this weight.

2. Reading : (gosh)… though I can kill anyone to buy fiction books to read from crossword or any such book store but please take course books away from me, ok I am making a resolution.. hehe I have only 3 exam to take in this semester, forget about such stupid resolutions. I can’t change my 7 semester reputation in one semester.

3. English: ahem, it is also a one point. :( I will improve my communication English ( grammar also, if you have any helpful tip you can mail it to me on aashish.dixit@gmail.com), also will work on vocabulary. You know it is too difficult to carry a dictionary to theatre, and you can’t ask any word from your neighbor. also when you are reading any ahem story , it is quite stupid thing to search meaning of words in dictionary. So the conclusion is I need to work on it seriously.

4. Blog : sighs, last year I got a good blogging culture in last year, which is quite encouraging for a blogger like me. Ok I am not a good blogger I know, and I write frustration, stupid things happened to me, fiction (ok, max of posts are fiction work.. it is no more a thing to hide). But I really love to write. I just want to write things happening to me, happening to anyone. I just want to give life to things. I just want to give a new imagination to my words.

Ok cut the crap, I will become more regular on blog and will write as much possible. ( I know it a torture for maximum readers.. haha but I can’t help myself)

5. Internet: ok I am not declaring that I won’t come online or things like this. Ok, internet bug like me can’t change himself in a day or two. We people need lots of time to do this. Even a gunpoint thing is not going to change our mind… so what you people are thinking, this stupid resolution can change my internet habit… no way. I can’t ditch my internet life. As already few people have concluded that I am living a dual personality. One who is on internet and other one who is ……… oye wait a minute I am same in my every personality.

6. Girls: ok, wait over. no, I have not got any girl friend , even I am not planning to get any ( even they are not planning to get boy friend like me). So what is it here on my resolution chart? answer is … ok I forgot.. babu bhaiya yeh ladki ka chakkar hai na.. bas samajh jao.

I know how serious I am for my resolutions, and I know how many of it is going to see a rising sun of tomorrow . fir bhi koshish ek asha. I can atleast try my best. Ok semi best . if adnan can do it, I can atleast think to do it.

C ya

Ok sorry I forgot to say “HAPPY NEW YEAR” . though I am only 3 day late or say 363 days ahead to wish it.

M.A.D

i.e.

Mr. Ashish Dixit

Absence

Absence, a small word but which has lots of effects on normal human being. Sometime you are addicted to few people in you life and suddenly you are lonely in absence of that person… you have no one to fill that space which has been created by that person. (s) he is the one is always there to help you even in mid-night. Even (s)he is ready to call you, to console you, to listen you when you have no one to understand you.

It is not mandatory that you have to respect your blood relations only, even in my case I don’t believe in blood relations, I hate to live with them (not talking about my mummy, papa and sister). Even I hate to have such relatives who have motive to loot only , or to take benefit of you in every form.

Some relations are bigger than blood relations, and I strongly believe in making such relations.

Even in past I have so many friends on internet with whom I had brother or sister ( I made sisters too :) on internet , though figure is still less than female friends on internet ) relationship. Few were very close to me, but all vanished as time spread its wing.

With the past one year, I was disturbing one bhaiya who became my buddy cum bhaiya cum net friend cum advisor, cum counselor, cum solution to many problems. Taresh bhaiya , who loved to call me Gabdu, is now all ready to leave this country to work in USA. Though only for few days, months or say years but he was the one who tried to help me in every possible way. I always tried my best to meet him in past year but never got succeed. I know my luck always play tricks with me ad now he is ready to fly away from me.

Though we never met personally but his calls and chatting sessions on gtalk were very helpful. May be he will continue same thing from USA ( and I know he will do it, I wont allow him to forget me… hehe). But still I am once again the one to get absence of someone who is so close to me. Still nothing is going to change but this conscious mind… :(

Bhaiya thanks for everything you helped me, and special thanks for this sweet teddy.

May god bless you and you will get success in every field.

M.A.D
i.e.

Mr. Ashish Dixit