Unusual request

Economic experts, people, idiot government people are debating everywhere about the increasing inflations rate which touched 7.14% yesterday which is as per economic experts is too much. I as a student never realized that any such thing is happening in society. I always call my father and demand whatever amount of money is required but surprisingly this month I demanded money thrice, And still seeking for more help from papa.

In morning I called up my Internet Service Provider (youtele com) because internet is not working in my area.

Me: sir, could you please tell me , what is the problem with you guys.

He: sir actually modem in your area is down, let me check the problem or we will send you one technician within 24 hours.

Now this technician thing is really funny, because YOUTELE has only one technician

In our area and unfortunately that guy look more like electrician than technician.

And also this guy is very funny, he even can’t tell you difference between LINUX and windows

Ok I know I am nerd computer engineer. But I think he must know these all things.

He: anything else sir?

Me: yes yaar, could you do me a favor please.

He: what sir?

Me: please if possible add this month bill in next month bill, because I am unable to pay this time.

He: are you sure sir, because we may disconnect services, and there is no rule from our side to take care of such requests, I am really sorry sir, I am unable to forward this request.

Me: do it yar, I am a customer of youtele since 3 years, and is it a way to deal with old customer. ( I used this line to give some impression.)

He: I know it sir, but I can’t change our policies for you, you may use online option, drop box option. What exactly is your problem, why are not you able to pay bill this time.

Me: hmm, reason is simple , I don’t have money this time.

On this , he sounds very confusing and said sorry and disconnected the phone.

Really inflation is on its peak, I never thought of getting money in 5 figures in month, but now a days I am getting it and still not able to make use of it in proper way. And that’s too when I stay at my home maximum time. May god bless poor souls who are still supporting these bunch of fools ( say UPA govt).

M.A.D
i.e.

Mr. Ashish Dixit

I am back

I know you missed my blog a lot. I have received millions of emails to keep writing my blog. I answered few and left remaining.

 

People warned me to do suicide. I got lots of mental pressure from all over the world.

Oh, gosh I am too famous…

 

Wait... Someone just pinched me..

 

Ok ok reality is people thought I am no more on this holy earth, so they had started celebrating and even newspapers and TV media have reported that there is sudden happier atmosphere in blogger world.

People are distributing sweets on the streets of their respected places.

 

But sorry folks... You need to control your emotions…

 

And start praying now because MAD is back… :D :D :D

A tale of few spikes.

Few accidents lead life to miserable condition, when everyone in society is ready to raise his/her finger against you. When you have no support in society and you feel like pernicious species. You have been throwing out of everything just because of one mistake. As per one bollywood dialogue “aadmi ko apni image banana mai puri age lag jati hai , per gavane k liye sirf ek mauke ki jarurat hoti hai”.

Ok , kill the suspense nothing has happened as such to me, the only thing which I tried was HAIRCUT, a simple haircut. Is it wrong to have haircut in democratic nation like India, I am just enjoying my rights nothing else.

I went to barber shop to have haircut. Errr. Let me tell you one thing, I am now 23 and I have never changed my hair style , I am using the same since my mumma gifted a comb to play. I think she was highly confused about my learning abilities, which she later discovered that I am not normal but an abnormal one. Ok coming back to the topic. so, I told him to trim my hair but not too short.

Moreover, as per my habit I bring out my mobile to do SMS to my friends. Gosh did I tell you because of my chatting abilities my mom once remarked me that “ARE YOU BEING PAID BY ANYONE TO SPEAK THIS MUCH”. In addition, once one of my friends became humble and requested me to remain silent for few minutes :(. So I was busy in chatting throughout the cutting session. Moreover, unfortunately the person who was cutting my hair was of same genre of mine. He was chatting with his colleagues. So we two were chatting here and there. Finally after 15 minutes he told me to have a look… oh my, was it me. :O ???

I argued. “Did I tell you to cut this much of hairs. :x” and blah blah blah blah.

He became numb for few seconds and finally concluded that a new hairstyle will do better. So he chopped some more to give new EESHTYLE… :(

Suddenly I realized that my hairs had a height equivalent to the height of grass on a soccer field after a soccer match.

Ok, I came out from the shop because it was partially my mistake too. First thing which I did after it was to buy a hair gel , so that I could give a look to this down to earth hairs.

Now another problem was which look. Should I go for spikes or just down hairs?

To make my condition more hell, I watched TAARE ZAMEEN PER and seriously amir was looking good in throughout the movie. In addition, to make hell out of me, he was in Spikes. One of my favorite options after such tragic accident.

People laughed on me like any thing, ok spikes seldom look good on round faces. But, for spheres like me, it wasn’t looking good. And few of the comments were:

1) Abbey bhes char gayi kya baalo ko… (did buffalo enjoy and ate your hairs.)

2) Yeh suar ki pooch jaise cutting kyu karva li.(why did you have this pig’s tail like haircutting)

3) Raham kha , please go and borrow wig, if not for you at least for people in your vicinity.

4) Did you pay for this, or chopped your hairs by your own scissors.

5) You r looking damn cool man, but such hairstyle looks good on other planets not on earth.

6) Etc

There were so many more comments, including a few one, which are famously known as “GALIYAN” on Indian subcontinent.

I thought people living in my vicinity are GHATIS and have no knowledge of changing trend of world. So I uploaded a few of my pictures on orkut or show a few of my pictures to my friend on yahoo chat etc. seriously , people in my vicinity are more dignified than on internet. A few of ‘em promised me to keep this picture to make fear in the mindset of their children. A few promised to show this picture to show to their girl friends to show that god becomes sometime too miserable. A few linked my profile pictures to worst picture of human breed they have ever seen on internet.

After getting such a nice review of my hairs, I had no other option but to watch the growth of my hairs like any mother who keeps her eyes on growth of her child after delivery.

Time passed like anything, but :( unfortunately my hairs’ growth started reflecting the growth of any poor African nation. And till today they are still at the same condition. :( sob sob.

Not every story has good ending. :( this is the one with same ending.

M.A.D

i.e.

Mr. Ashish Dixit

Long live democracy

There are few days on the calendar when people really become patriotic and come out to show their patriotism to the outer world. You can spot them with national flags of plastic, paper, cloth and of possible matter.

Even suddenly, I dot know from where, patriotic songs come into picture instead of himesh’s songs. Since from morning to the evening you listen numbers of patriotic songs that you generally listen on those patriotic days.

Suddenly newspaper media realize that they are writing for India and they too try to pain their newspaper in Indian flag’s color. Suddenly they realize a few of freedom fighters are still alive and they try to check their problems with their daily articles. Suddenly they realize Indian actors and actresses have some patriotic feeling and they fill their page 3 with this feeling. To give a proof of jingoism, even media receive advertisements in the form of tri-color formats. :P

Not to ignore TV media who has special panel or say a bunch of intellectuals for this day, who starts from morning and end in evening, praising Indian democracy making fun of neighboring country’s democracy. In addition, discussing what should we do to make it better and all other crap. I am listening all this crap since the advent of TV media in India.

HAPPY REPUBLICAN DAY

By the time, people have started making perception of things. They have started making meaning of independence in their own terms; after all, we are independent to do anything. Anything? Yes, it is a real question that our democracy is still facing and I really do not know when will these ends.

Problem of castes, religion, hunger, poverty, and unemployment, partition wall of rich and poor is still in picture. Like the sensex of Bombay stock market sometime problem are really on high to deal with , sometime it is very low that our respected ministers start making fun of democracy and start from past to get such problems back.

WITH ALL DUE RESPECT TO ALL THE POLITICAL LEADERS, WE DON’T REALLY HAVE A NATIONAL LEADER THAT WE CAN BE PROUD OF: MANOJ KUMAR

However, India is witnessing some good time now a days, youths are more concerned to country now like never before. However, a few have dream of USA or other western countries but maximum are with this nation now. As witnessed in past some cases. Not for the first time but youth is united today to contribute in the growth of country.

It seems that definition of patriotism is changing, not it is not about love for a country but also about how to make it more adorable.

With so many problems and much more solutions, this country is still enjoying its democratic waves. This is showing strength of this country.

JAI HIND

VANDEMATRAM

HAPPY REPUBLIC DAY

M.A.D
i.e.

Mr. Ashish Dixit

Advertising advertisement.

My family and I are standing at some show shoe shop.

Me: papa, please this one.

Papa: no..

Me: papa, please , it has light. ( pointing toward a shoe which has light in its bottom)

Papa: no it is not good…

Me : :( bwahahahah … main neee. Many other of my friends has this shoes. See it has light ( pointing towards light once again, as it is going to be headlight of my feet)

Finally after few more arguments I got my light wale shoes. This was the impact of advertisement of “action light shoes”, and happened to me when I was only 8-9 year old. That advertisement had very peculiar effect on my mind, I almost cried in front of so many unknown people. And argued badly with my papa. That jingle is still in my mind “ lalala light wo bhi shoe mai, kaisa hai yeh system… action ka hai light system”

Even after so many years, I wonder about that advertise and its effect on children like me.

Such is the importance of advertisement of any particular product. That’s why companies waste or invest billions of money in this particular section. When we go to buy any thing we have certain image of any thing in our brain.

Few days back, I was doing a shopping at BIG BAZAR. And I was in food section of it. A mother was looking at rice. Suddenly her child who was also in confusing state spoke: “mamma why are we buying this, I have not seen its advertisement on any tv. Please go for that brand , it is very good I have seen it on TV”.

I started laughing on this incident, so is that lady, Because of innocence of that child. Who even doesn’t known about how to cook, or anything but forcing her mother to buy rice just because of advertisement.

It is becoming a habit of younger generation ( 15-30 age group) and kids (age group below 15) to go for things which they might have seen on TV, or somewhere else as advertisement. Even companies are becoming mad to endorse their products by advertising. I wonder may be one day advertise of product will be more costly than manufacturing of product itself.

There are advertisement every where , just look outside and you will get trillions of advertise to advertise trillions of products. Advertise on rickshaw, on car , on boards, on cloths, as tattoos, in advertisement itself…

Just have a blink and you will get some new... Here n there everywhere …

May be one day my son will come to me and say “PAPA PLEASE THIS BRING MUMMY, I HAVE SEEN HER ON TV. :P “ ok I was kidding. And it was an advertisement of being kidding. Oh my god please bring me out of this advertisement world.

M.A.D
i.e.

Mr. Ashish Dixit